Blockbuster is the Worst Place on the Planet

I found The Fluffer

But not The Longest Yard,

I don’t mean the horrendous remake,

Burt Reynolds’ skin stretched further than my patience.

The original.

The true Mean Machine is what I was

Looking for.

And when I asked the clerk why

They carried:

Forty-seven copies of Sweet Home Alabama,

And thirty-six copies of 2 Fast 2 Furious

And seventeen copies of Blade 3,

And three copies of The Gingerbread Man,

But couldn’t find the space for a classic,

I was the idiot.

There is no worse place in the world,

Not Darfur, not Iraq, not Elm Street,

There is only this nightmare.

All this way and not one copy,

I can’t even exit through this door.

Jesus Fuck Christ

Motherfucking The Fluffer?

“Where’s the next closest store?”